Time is Murderous, Life Can Wait

Period: You want cookies

Thu, 16 May 2013 21:33:09 -0500

Period: You want cookies
Period: You want to fuck
Period: You want to fuck while eating cookies.
Period: Let's be sad about trivial things, shall we?
Period: Kill them.
Period: Kill them too.
Period: Kill them and eat their cookies.
Period: Shhhh it's okay you'll feel better soon.
Period: HAHAHAHAHA NO YOU WON'T FUCK YOU.

sophiayvonnexo: ssinceiamdead: This is actually perfect I...

Thu, 16 May 2013 21:30:32 -0500

sophiayvonnexo:

ssinceiamdead:

This is actually perfect

I would say this ruined my childhood but actually this made my life complete

d-pressedlife: suicidemydarling: scars—tell-stories: deez-slut...

Thu, 16 May 2013 21:29:23 -0500

d-pressedlife:

suicidemydarling:

scars—tell-stories:

deez-sluts:

this IS THE CUTEST FUCKING THING EVER

the cat like kisses his head at the end omfg

My dog does this to my mom.

feminism lvl. 100

Thu, 16 May 2013 21:13:01 -0500

feminism lvl. 100

que-mystery: kinxsonic: by: sido蝉

Thu, 16 May 2013 21:10:34 -0500

que-mystery:

kinxsonic:

by: sido蝉

fuckyeahdestielwillneverdie: treasua: agingerfishieinfairylight...

Thu, 16 May 2013 21:09:10 -0500

fuckyeahdestielwillneverdie:

treasua:

agingerfishieinfairylights:

cas-stop-smelling-the-dead-guy:

riningear:

festivestark:

the-day-thats-green:

Who’s the asshole now?

i can’t believe JB said this, I knew he was a prick but my mind is blown

just looked it up, legit quotes

this feels appropriate to use

THANK GOD SOMEONE FOUND ACTUAL PROOF HERE IT IS BELIEBERS: HE IS AN ACTUAL DICKWAD.

Never not reblogging this.

Yup. He said it in an interview with Rolling Stone.

Will I actually be worth your time?

Thu, 16 May 2013 21:07:50 -0500

illestswagsta:

Or am I just there to keep you company until someone better comes along.

forever-classyx: Oh my gosh people, be nice to your waiter/waitress, it’s not their fault that your...

Thu, 16 May 2013 21:07:36 -0500

forever-classyx:

Oh my gosh people, be nice to your waiter/waitress, it’s not their fault that your food is cold or if it’s under cooked. Be nice to the cashiers who are still training and can’t ring up your items as quickly as you want. If a stranger smiles and says hello to you, smile and say hello back! It’s just common courtesy, I don’t understand why people have to be so rude.

slydig: lovemenowtill4ever: slydig: who would name their kid zoey 101 Uhm……that was her room...

Thu, 16 May 2013 21:07:06 -0500

slydig:

lovemenowtill4ever:

slydig:

who would name their kid zoey 101

Uhm……that was her room number not part of her name

why would her room number be zoey

kokiri-saria: I’m attempting to summon Pokemon X and Y for the...

Thu, 16 May 2013 20:59:55 -0500

kokiri-saria:

I’m attempting to summon Pokemon X and Y for the 3DS early

poopflow: ah yes i have finally found it the g spot

Thu, 16 May 2013 20:58:38 -0500

poopflow:

ah yes i have finally found it

the g spot

the-absolute-best-gifs: I remember Meg’s story very clearly....

Thu, 16 May 2013 20:54:16 -0500

the-absolute-best-gifs:

I remember Meg’s story very clearly. She was in love with a man before Hercules. When he died, she sold her soul to Hades just to bring the man back to life. Once he was alive again, he left Meg for another woman, even though she gave up her soul for him. Of course this would scar Meg, which was why she couldn’t trust men, especially with her heart. Disney used to be so deep and meaningful, what happened?

mychemcalromance: thespacegoat: • Accidentally close a tab?...

Sat, 04 May 2013 08:51:01 -0500

mychemcalromance:

thespacegoat:

• Accidentally close a tab? Ctrl+Shift+T reopens it.
• Bananas release dopamine, eat them when you’re sad.
• CTRL+SHIFT+ESC is the one handed version of CTRL+ALT+DEL
• Don’t brush your teeth hard, it makes them sensitive and removes enamel.
• Don’t like spiders? Put citronella oil on your walls and they will not go there.
• Drink one glass of water for every alcoholic drink you have, you’ll get drunk without getting a hangover.
• Get clear ice cubes by boiling water before freezing it
• Heal paper cuts and immediately stop the pain with chapstick.
• If you accidentally write on your dry erase board with a permanent marker, scribble over it with a dry eraser marker to remove it.
• If your shoes smell, put them in the freezer overnight, it will kill the bacteria.
• Make bug bites stop itching with a banana peel.
• Make a paper longer with 12-point text, but 14-point periods and commas.
• Need to get around a blocked website at work? Try replacing the http:// with https://
• Never send your resume as a word file (unless asked) Instead, print it to a pdf file, it’s much cleaner and professional looking.
• Pick a flavor of gum you don’t normally chew, and chew it while studying during a test.
• Place a piece of bread in a container with your homemade cookies and they will stay soft.
• Put a dry towel into a dryer with wet clothes, they will dry faster.
• Put toothpaste on a pimple and it will dry out.
• Practise fake smiling in the mirror every day before going to work/school, you’ll genuinely start to feel happier.
• Rub canola/olive oil on knives before cutting onions, you won’t cry, alternatively chew gum and you won’t either.
• Short on time with a wrinkled dress shirt? Hang it up in the bathroom to steam it flat.
• The night before, place things you don’t want to forget the next morning on top of your shoes.
• Use hydrogen peroxide to remove blood stains from clothing.
• When cleaning windows use newspapers or coffee filters instead of paper towels, they will not leave streaks.
• When microwaving bread products/pizza put a glass of water in with it, it will keep your bread for going spongy.
• When you move into a new place you’re renting, take pictures of any and all damage, then post them on facebook (privately if preferred) so you can use the reference date as proof you didn’t do it.
• When searching plane tickets online delete your cookies prior, prices go up when you visit a site multiple times.

LIFE HACKS

fuckyeahtattoos: tattoo by davidboterhoek.tumblr.com/

Sat, 04 May 2013 08:45:14 -0500

fuckyeahtattoos:

tattoo by davidboterhoek.tumblr.com/

merricats: oldmanhoho: you know you’ve made a good pun when everyone’s immediate response upon...

Sat, 04 May 2013 08:44:27 -0500

merricats:

oldmanhoho:

you know you’ve made a good pun when everyone’s immediate response upon hearing it is “shut the fuck up”

#the highest compliment any pun can receive

pizza: princessofthegarrison: so if you say the word pizza in a text post, is it like summoning...

Sat, 04 May 2013 08:42:29 -0500

pizza:

princessofthegarrison:

so if you say the word pizza in a text post, is it like summoning satan only instead of satan you get tumblr user pizza

i have been summoned once again

the-perks-of-being-a-fitblr: heyfunniest: queer-apple: rad1calcunt: disregardwomen: athousandwor...

Thu, 02 May 2013 22:24:20 -0500

the-perks-of-being-a-fitblr:

heyfunniest:

queer-apple:

rad1calcunt:

disregardwomen:

athousandwords-forlove:

1ll-reality:

lynzave:

friendly reminder that this is me before tumblr

and this is me after tumblr

do you see what it does to you

Before tumblr

After tumblr

I got gay.

Before tumblr…

after tumblr…

I may have caught the gay too….

before tumblr

After tumblr

I caught it too..

Before Tumblr

After Tumblr

Welp.

before tumblr

after tumblr

Omfggggggg

THAT LAST ONE I CANT

musicveinss: This is a great comeback

Fri, 26 Apr 2013 16:45:46 -0500

musicveinss:

This is a great comeback

xtitlefight: Same

Fri, 26 Apr 2013 07:39:52 -0500

xtitlefight:

Same

babe-prince: evanescentroses: cishetssuck: friendly reminder that: you are not weak if you want...

Thu, 25 Apr 2013 15:33:24 -0500

babe-prince:

evanescentroses:

cishetssuck:

friendly reminder that:

you are not weak if you want meds for your disorder

you are not weak if you relapse once

you are not weak if you relapse a thousand times

you are not weak if some kinds of therapy don’t work for you

you are not weak if some kinds of meds don’t work for you

you are not weak if you have a mental disorder.

Needed this.

wow i really really needed this